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About Herald and news. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1942-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 13, 1963)
! I i NEW IMPROVED TUMS! Quips and Quotes Cutting Remarks I grab the morning paper first, Before my wife a deed rehearsed For many years. And if you think I am a boor, or on the brink, I'll tell you why: My good wife snips And with her sharpened scissors clips All sorts of coupons, ads, and such And doesn't leave me very much. If I've the paper first and solely, It's that I like it whole, not holey. Richard Armour Would You Like Mora GravyT Reducing isn't really tough! It's easy if you NO enough. The age-old debate between dog lovers and cat lovers was raging at a party. "Let me tell you about a dog I heard of," said one guest "A house caught fire, and the mother and father carried the children out safely then discovered that one child had been left behind. Before either could react, their dog dashed into the flames and soon emerged carrying the missing child." "Bah!" said a cat lover. "That's the oldest story ever told by you dog people!" "Wait," came the reply. "I'm not finished. Although everybody was now safe, the dog ran back into the burn ing house. The family thought the excitement had driven him mad. But soon he came out again, carrying some thing in his mouth." The storyteller paused and looked at his enthralled audience. "Now this may sound strange, but do you know what he was carrying? Well, that dog had a damp towel in his mouth, and when they unfolded it out dropped the fire-insurance policy!" James Shurluck K " II I vista rr LJ ; DRIVING Better tlian ever taste! Better than ever relief! f New Improved TUMS let you enjoy really good flavor and get great acid indigestion relief at the same time! Modern TUMS taste so delightfully minty cool and crisp, and there's never a trace of unpleasant after taste. Try minty-f resh New Improved TUMS soon! Now New Improved TUMS bring better-than-ever fast, effective, long-lasting relief from acid indigestion, heartburn and gas! Modern TUMS exclusive formula with scientific buffering-action promptly neutralizes excess acids and soothes the stomach by gently coating the stomach lining. And TUMS are safe never cause over-alkaliz ing, acid rebound or unwanted side effects. a I never a trace of unpleasant after- I I the stomach by gently coating the stomach lining. I 1 taste. Try minty-f resh New Improved I I And TUMS are safe never cause over-alkaliz- I jjj TUMS soon! I ing, acid rebound or unwanted side effects. I 1 1 jSii I fS 3 I- Res Best of all antacids tested! The following statement is the result of 16 months of clinical research conducted at one of America's leading universities. "New formula TUMS were tested, on hyperacid patients, along with nine other med ically approved antacids including roll-type and prescription-type antacids . . .The findings proved TUMS led all other antacids in this impor tant combination: (1) Speed of relief, (2) Long-Uuting re lief, (3) Safe relief without unpleasant side effects, (4) Economy" New Improved TUMS are now on your retailers' shelves in the tame familiar pack aget . . . handy rolls and " bottles too! Improved f r-T Always carry Turns for the Tammy! "Well, I've learned one thing today you're poor teacher." The homeowner had just finished laying a new side walk when he looked out the window and saw the neigh borhood children writing their initials in the wet cement He raced out the house and sent them scurrying with his shouts and threats. "What's the matter, dear," his wife asked.-"Don't you like children?" "In the abstract, yes," the husband replied, "but not in the concrete." Jane Sherman A hoepital ihould alto have a recovery room adjoining the canhier'i office. Jan Shepard Htl tl ttltlllll Iltltlt xtt 1 1 1 m wt I i i n My Wife's Eyesight Is Remarkable Her glasses really aren't at all Important to her vision In reading or, when driving, In averting a collision. They're no real help in cleaning house Or (so she claims) tv-ing. To tell the truth, the only thing She needs them for is seeing. Hal Chadwick Family Weakly. January 11. IH3
